rashness | Tanagura IC Inbox

[ Why is she sorry...? She--

He remembers the funeral he gave flint. It fit with the beliefs that his father had instilled in him. His true father, Shiro Fujimoto. And then he realizes why she's upset. None of those people have a true burial, they're just brought out to -- He holds her closer, and -

Shima is dead. He inhales, sniffling a little bit, and shakes his head ]

You were-- what else could you do?

[ Where should he be mad? How should he feel? He just feels a crawling sense deep inside of him, so many mixed emotions he goes from mad to upset to back and he can't settle on one or or the other ]

[It's more than just that. Renzo had been Rin's friend too, after all. And now, with what she's seen, they both know the consequences of what happens to those who disappear... how many more people had Rin lost all this time, without even knowing? And not to mention the problems with his memories -- problems she still only barely knew about, and hadn't been experiencing herself at all.]

I-I dunno... but. I wish I could've done... s-something. They didn't deserve that. I couldn't even tell how many there were, or if there was anyone else I...

[Her grip on Rin tightens, balling a handful of his shirt in both hands.]

What if... wh-what if Ion was...

[She can't bring herself to finish that sentence. She's been trying all this time not to think about what became of the Ion who was here, even making a point not to talk about him. Either way, the Ion she knew back home was dead. And so what the replica. But he was alive here before... did that mean he was carted away in one of those trucks too? Could he have been lying in that pile too, buried beneath the pile of corpses?]

[She curls her head down, shaking even more. She feels like she's going to be sick.]

[ Ion. Four. Yukari. Shima. Kaguya. It's so weird to think of all the people who have vanished, and that they might be ... they might be dead. Has Rin known this? Maybe? Even if he did, he never thought about it. He had been willfully ignorant of a lot of things. For some reason, his mind went back to -- ... Oh yeah, the PRCA would be going again now. cyclically, Lupercalia would be coming up after that. His first time experiencing it as an Elite. Would it feel different?

Why is his mind going in so many different directions? Why can't he focus?

It's pathetic. He needs to say something to Arietta, he needs to comfort her. ]

Arietta... I... I mean- [ ... ] We could go back, and we could try'n find the truck again.

[ But they couldn't - even with all his power, even if he wore that armor Gevena gave him, there's no way he could fend off all the authorities... ]

[Just the thought of going back and possibly seeing that truck there, of possibly finding the bodies or traces of those that were once there, is enough to send a shiver of horror through her spine.]

[Maybe it would be the right thing to do. Or maybe it would get them needlessly killed. Either way, she never wants to see that intersection again.]

[Immediately, she thinks of excuses -- the truck would be long gone by now, the whole area is probably closed off right now, there was nothing they'd be able to learn without knowing where that truck was going... but that's all they were, right? Excuses. Lies to make herself feel better about the decision she made.]

[She doesn't want to lie. If Ion really had been in that pile-- well, he would have understood better than anyone why she'd be too scared to go back. ]

[She shakes her head against him.]

...n-no. It's too dangerous. If something happened to you, I-I... [...] I was so scared... that you were there too.

[Those frantic messages weren't sent right after it happened. They were sent after searching their apartment, at Spectrum, at anywhere else she thinks he might have been... too afraid to message him and get a response that his device was out of service. That had only been her last resort.]

Come on, I'm not going to die that easily.

[ ... But neither would Shima. In truth, that's probably not anything they could control. Rin keeps her close, and the caste divide is forgotten for this moment now then they are out in the increasingly chilly sands of the wasteland. Still, brushing his hands down her. Too dangerous...

Would Quicksilver kill them? Was it even Quicksilver?

He doesn't know anything. He needs to do more. He's been inactive for too long, somehow content to allow himself to believe he destroyed the Black Market just like that ]

I'm glad you weren't.

[She sniffles again, not responding this time, but instead just holding onto Rin. Feeling his chest move as he breaths, listening to his heart beating in his chest, knowing he's alive. He may be trying his best to find words to comfort her, but just being beside her, holding her in this way and reminding her she isn't alone... that was really all he needed to do.]

[When she shivers again, this time Liger moves towards them, turning and curling a few of his tails around them, shielding them somewhat from a cold wind that was moving in. The sun would be setting soon. They should probably go back, but--]

Can we... [Her voice is a little calmer -- though only marginally so.] Can we go to Tamida? And the temple there? I-I know we're not all from the same place, but... I want to pray for them.

[Despite growing up in a Cathedral, Arietta was never very religious. The only prayers and hymns she knows, she knows because of Ion. But if there was anything she could do for them, no matter how small the gesture, she still wanted to try.]

[Ion... would have liked that, she thinks.]

[ Rin's father had raised him in a religion, though he didn't practice it very well. Shima was also at least peripherally religious. He didn't know about anyone else. But Rin recalls his prayers for Tinder and everyone that died during the war with the Black Market, and his prayers for Flint and ... well, Ash's arm, at least in this same wasteland.

If he can pray for them, then - ]

Of course we can. That's a good idea anyway.

[ Plus it would be less cold than here. ]

[Liger seems to find this plan to be great as well, once more lowering himself down for them to climb on. Of course, they'll have to be careful the closer they get to Tamida's house of prayer, since it was kind of difficult for two people to ride on Liger's back without touching each other.]

[Though Arietta will be hesitant to stay too far from Rin, maybe even looking a little antsy. She can't even hold his hand...]

[And yet in the back of her mind, she can't help but think it a little odd that there was no such taboo in death. The bodies of mongrels and elites alike were stacked up in that truck, no distinction made between one or the other. It only made the whole divide seem even more meaningless than it already was.]

[She'll stay quiet most of the way, until they get to Tamida proper. At which point they can probably walk instead of ride on Liger (even if he is totally warm and cozy to ride on with all that fur).]

...I forgot how long it's been since I came here. Not since... [The black market.] Since I became your pet, I think.

'Ve been down here a few more times. Vastania has me meet her here. Or well, at least a few times.

[ Rin keeps close to her on Liger, but he does want to shift back to get away from her as they get closer to civilization. He's simply not sure how he'll remain on Liger still while he moves back. Err.

Still, it's sort of awkward all things considered! And... and yeah, it's a problem of sorts. But while he does squirm, he doesn't have any real way to correct for it.

Why is he focusing on stuff like that while he got on there with Liger to go with Arietta in the first place, though? Mm. The fact of the matter is that he was as comforted by their proximity as she was. And he really shouldn't be, for both of their sakes. ]

Edited 2016-01-08 04:57 (UTC)

Really? So this is where you meet her... [Which she's probably heard a little about, but. It's been a pretty busy couple of weeks, all things considered.]

[She can feel Rin is still close, even if they're not touching now that they've started getting closer to where people are. She wished she could lean back against him, but... well, the last thing she wants is either of them to get arrested. Especially now that her distrust of the government was more or less at its highest.]

[But at the get closer to the temple itself, she does climb down off of Liger -- though Rin is free to keep riding.]

...it's so different here from everywhere else on Amoi. If I don't look too hard, sometimes... it really does look like Daath.

[After the day she's had, there was something strangely comforting about it. It didn't remind her at all of Tanagura, or even the other more popular parts of Midas. If it were just more green, it would almost be uncanny...]

Yeah, she's all ... holy and stuff.

[ And a giant blue goat. Still! Once they get there- If she's going to walk, then he'll walk too. After all, Liger's more her brother than his friend. ... Shut up that totally makes sense. Still, once they're there, it's on foot from here with a pat on Liger's head to show that he's thankful. ]

Were's Daath again?

[ Apparently, he's not great with details ]

[Liger rolls his head up against Rin's hand, murring softly. But for her part, Arietta keeps her gaze locked forward. She can't exactly fault him for not knowing -- it's not like she talks about Auldrant very often. She can really only recall mentioning it once or twice in any great detail.]

That's... the name of the country I'm from. It's run by the Order of Lorelei, so everything there surrounds the Order and... the Score.

[...]

I... don't think I ever mentioned it, but. Ion is someone really important back home! He's the leader of the Order, and he did a lot of really great things for the world. Even though he's... [Deep breath.] He was younger than me.

[Another deep breath, this one a bit shaky. It might sound a little unlike her, trying so hard to keep herself from sounding as sad as she is.] The last time I came here, was... after he disappeared. I wanted to leave something for him here in case I... I-I disappeared too.

[ Rin is dimly aware of the fact that he's never really heard about any of these things. The Order was that military she was a part of, right? Or something like that. He doesn't know what the Score is, but from context, it sounds like it might be a religion, but she's not happy with said religion. But if Ion was the leader of the military?

... He ... ]

Y'know, I think I met that Ion guy once, kinda briefly.

[ He seems to only be remembering it now. But it comes to him as he watches her, not sure how he should handle this moment other than to walk beside her and brush at Liger a little ]

You did? [She turns to him, surprised at first... but then her expression turns almost wistful, once more turning to stare at the ground as she walks.]

...actually, you... you didn't. The Ion who was here on Amoi wasn't the same Ion I knew back home.

[The Ion who called her his pet, who named her and taught her to speak and act like a human being...]

That was... his replica.

[ Replica... ]

Replicas are like AIs, right? Like... fake people?

[ He's pretty sure they had a discussion about that before. But wow, that guy wasn't a real person? He seemed so lively, even if they only really met that one time. But they did explore a temple together, or at least started off on doing it! ]

[Fake people. Something about the way he says that makes her sad -- is that how people saw him? The sweet boy she barely knew who shared the face of her Ion?]

...n-no. They're not... fake people. Or like the AIs here. They're normal people, just... made differently. And they look just like their originals.

[Rin has no way of knowing just how much she struggled with this when Ion was still here, trying so hard to separate him in her mind from the original. She's really come a long way.]

But they... they only look like them. They don't have any memories of their original. The Ion here was nice to me, but... he didn't know me at all. And he really... wasn't like the Ion I knew either.

[ So they aren't fake people, they just... ate made differently? Did they have childhoods like that, or did he--? Still, yeah, that young Elite he met did seem pretty nice. Rin only knew him briefly and only on a surface level... He hums. Rin takes a half step closer to her and makes to lead them properly into Tamida. ... Huh.

Only look like them. But then - ]

Kinda confusing if they're both named Ion.

[She just nods, eyes still locked on the ground. It occurs to her now just how little she's really told Rin about herself. About her world. About the experiences she's lived, and the pain she's gone through. About everything that happened to her, in the final years of her short life.]

[About just how much Ion meant to her.]

Ion... the Ion I knew, he-- his body was really weak. He got sick all the time, so... I-I wanted to become someone strong. So I could protect him forever. I was always by his side...

[The ghost of a smile appears on her face, briefly recalling those happier times. The juxtaposition of a smile with eyes that look near tears is probably a bit strange.]

But then-- maybe two years before I came here... he got really sick. I wasn't even allowed see him for over a week... and then I wasn't allowed to see him at all.

[Her hands tighten into fists at her side, and she moves to cross them over her chest. Her next words are spoken slowly, carefully.]

Because... because he wasn't just sick. And the Ion who I saw after that, who wouldn't even look me in the eye... that was the replica they made to take his place. So no one would know he was... gone. [...] Not even me.

[ Rin listens to her, frowning the whole time as he tries to decide how he should even respond to her. The fact of the matter is that he is now in the middle of her spilling her guts to him and he's not sure he can--

Well, all he can do is listen, right? He puts his hands in his pockets mostly so that he won't be tempted to touch her, and he hears her out. He might glance at Liger, but. ]

So he was that important of a guy, huh? [ ... ] That's kind've amazing.

He was. Probably one of the most important people in the world.

[...]

But not just... to the world. H-He was important to me. He was... he was my world.

[But now he was gone. And his replica, who she thought she had at least had a second chance with, was probably dead in this world too.]

[She's thought about it a lot. About what she would have done if they had told her that Ion was dead and replaced with a replica. Would she have been able to accept it? Would she have served the replica in her Ion's place, projecting all her devotion onto him instead?]

[Or would she have simply followed him into death?]

[ . . . What do you even say to that. He doesn't know, he's not good at any of this. He can only be sentimental. As such, Rin exhales and he leans over towards Arietta to risk nudging her shoulder. No one notices immediately, but they still might in the end. Right now, though, it just seemed right, if a little risky. ]

'M sorry, then. That's like... it's hard. [ He thinks about when his father - his real father - was killed. ]

[They were lucky. It was cold in Tamida, and already kind of late. Most of the people left wandering around now were mongrels, and likely too intimidated by the elite and his giant cat monster to even give them a second glance.]

[But even so, when she feels his shoulder nudge against her own, she has to hold her own hand in place to stave off the temptation to reach out and grab a hold his.]

[Aside from a nod and soft murmur of agreement, she'll stay quiet as they walk the rest of the way, leading him to the temple proper and then down a certain hallway. The walls are decorated with various little altars, shrines, and religious idols, but there's one in particular she's leading him to. It'll probably take a little while, but eventually they reach a small corner where a single necklace in the shape of a golden tuning fork sits on a small pedestal. It's all covered in a fine layer of dust -- even the small envelope sitting in front of it, with a name scrawled out in language Rin wouldn't recognize.]

[The significance will no doubt be lost on Rin. But for her part, Arietta kneels down and starts to brush off the dust -- sniffling a bit as she does so.]

[It's only once she finishes, leaning the envelope back into place, that she scoots back on her knees and glances up at Rin.]

...how do you pray for people where you're from? So we... can do it right. For Renzo.

[ How do they do it... where he's from? That's such a strange question, and it's something Rin actually briefly looks at her uncomprehending about what she would mean. Vaguely, he gestures around him, to the area of Tamida itself. There's a lot of faiths here, what did she even mean?

But he doesn't push that issue, instead deciding that what Renzo - Shima? - Renzo would most appreciate would probably be the sort of faith that he was trained in by his father. Rin nods, and not sure if they should go somewhere else or not, he just kneels down next to Arietta.

He didn't know what that letter was, but he did watch that with reverence, whatever it was. And so he puts his hands together and - ]

It's like this - y'clap twice, and then you hold them together to pray for 'em.

[She misses the meaning behind gesturing, mistaking it for Rin perhaps collecting his thoughts. But when he explains, she nods, and then turns to face the small pedestal again. She holds her hands together and claps twice, the sound echoing far throughout the corridor.]

[And then she bows her head, silently, to pray.]

[But after a good few minutes of maintaining that silence, the mood is ruined by a loud, low huff from Liger behind them -- who then sticks his big fluffy head between them, making little grumbly noises as he rubs against them both.]

[Ligers get sad too, okay.]

[ So Shima...

Shima might well be dead, and there's nothing that he could do about it. He just popped up out of life. Rin's eyes sort of cast down, and when his eyes close he tries to get a picture of the other boy's smiling face. He doesn't know what he should say, or pray about. But he ...

Hah. ]

Yeah...

[ And then Liger steps in, and he opens one eye to look at the cat thing. What...? Either way, he leans in to the guy. ]

Edited 2016-01-21 20:48 (UTC)

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